I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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