Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
