Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize