It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize