u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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