Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
