we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
