can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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