when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
