you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
