Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
