it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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