So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
