I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
