ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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