i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
