Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Never underestimate the power of titties
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
