Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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