Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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