you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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