I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
