I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
