I think i peed on brittanys purse
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
