the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
