she was so not down for the gang bang
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
