So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
