i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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