Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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