I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
