my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
