I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
