I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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