He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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