he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
