everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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