im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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