So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
