he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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