How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
