Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize