And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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