Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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