I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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