ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
