How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You can't just leave with hair like that
me + whiskey = a bad person
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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