Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Non-Jews are for practice
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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