Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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