i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
