i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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