I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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