Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
