I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
