we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
We smell like vodka and hangover
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