JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
