**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
