The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My balls are so social today.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Semen is not good for contacts.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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