yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
