dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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