it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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