You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Holy shit dude........stairs
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
