He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
