More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
