is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
